


Watch Me As I Fade

by psychrome



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Depression, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Science Bros, Self-Harm, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 22:43:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14963595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychrome/pseuds/psychrome
Summary: Tony Stark has been thrown back into his 19-year old self by a extraterrestrial being. With all his scars gone, Rhodey hopes he can fix things between them and for Tony."Tell me Anthony, son of Howard. Do you know what you could've been?"





	1. A Chest Full Of Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> The whole fic is inspired by Hollywood Undead songs. The doc title is from Lion by Hollywood Undead and this chapter is titled with a lyric from New Day by HU. 
> 
> The universe is an AU where the Mad Titan won't be around for quite some time. The tags mention Depression and Self-harm but I'll set up a trigger warning if I feel like the description is too voilent or triggering. No such occurrence exists in this chapter.

Tony was fine, perfectly fucking fine so no, none of them could waltz into the workshop. It didn't matter if he'd been down here for days. The workshop was a safe haven, full of all sorts of relaxing things like wrenches and loud speakers. He felt more at home in here then anywhere else in the tower. He turned up the music loud enough to make his stomach lurch with every beat and that was the best kind of feeling. When he was younger he'd strip down to his jeans and cuff them before dancing his thoughts away. He'd close his eyes and put himself in some dystopia before moving his body in tandem with the drums. Now, however, he didn't have the time to let himself go. He was constantly updating the suits ever since Siberia and the visions gifted by the Scarlet Witch herself. He needed it to be better, he needed to be better himself. He'd even designed a suit for Peter, the kid deserved it after all the messages that they ignored from him. It was fine if he didn't want to be an Avenger but you never know. He needed it to be perfect.

The workshop was dimly lit with some flashlights pointing to the gauntlet he was working on. Every other surface was covered in glowing holograms, each running billions of numericals per second to fine-tune the perfect calibrations. He stared at the latest calculation, when the answer popped up with a small toaster oven ting. He quickly programmed the new calibrations into the main program. It held all the details of the gauntlet he was perfecting.

"Boss?" He let out a soft non-commental hmm knowing FRIDAY would still hear him through Hollywood Undead's J3T. "You haven't eaten in 39 hours 43 minutes and 12 seconds as of now, please eat something. You haven't slept in 81 hours, 3 minutes and 56 seconds. You need sleep too."

"Relax, baby girl. I'll be fine." He walked up to the fridge and pulled out a tub of ice-cream. "I'll eat, just relax." He took a bite as if to appease her.

"Colonel Rhodes would like to come in." Tony froze, he couldn't avoid everyone forever. "Should I?" He nodded shoving more ice-cream in his mouth before wiping his hands on his pants. The music shut off as Rhodey strolled in at a slow pace, the mechanical gears grinding at Tony's heart.

"Tones, how long you gonna stay down here?" Tony closed his eyes before sighing. "I worry."

"Don't worry, honey bear," he said. "I've got some upgrades that need to be done." Rhodey walked up to his latest project and picked up the board but his eyes seemed to be looking through it rather than at it.

"Why do you keep getting involved? You could get an island to yourself and live the rest of your days in comfort." Tony's face twitched. "You could have everything."

"Wouldn't leave you alone for anything," he says. He licks his lips. "Come with me Rhodey, we could run away." Rhodey smiles softly and shakes his head.

"I can't." They stood in silence holding a conversation with silence before Tony bit the inside of his lip.

"I have to work," he said. He turned away letting the other man stare at his back. Rhodey hesitated before leaving.

He looked up at the ceiling before signalling for the music to turn on. The boys were in their charging stations, the suits behind darkened glass and a holographic projection of his latest work hovered in front of him. Heavy bass vibrated through out the work shop as Tony continued working on the circuit board. He whispered the words to himself nodding his head slightly as the chorus progressed into a rap. He was soldering two connections when the first fluctuations started. He looked up to the roof in annoyance as the lights stopped flickering. His hologram had collapsed and he raised his hands trying to bring it back up. What were they doing up there?

"FRIDAY?" He prompted waiting for a response a he restarted the soldering iron. He cursed lightly realizing that the metal had spread beyond what he wanted.

"Boss, there was a minor power fluctuation but there's no apparent cause." He scowled at the moving over to the computer. "The fluctuations only effected the workshop however. This is weird, should I call someone?" Tony shook his head as he walked to the power box. All phases seemed fine and nothing was out of place. The screen he had installed also showed nothing out of the ordinary. He walked back putting it off as a one-time thing vowing to check it out later.

"Note to self," he said out loud, knowing FRIDAY would record it. "Look into the fluctuations." He exhaled before calibrating the powerbank he had nicked off of Rhodey's side table. It was surprisingly easy to convert into a variable power source as he moved the quickly attached dial slowly waiting for the small bulb at the end to light up. That's when the power surged again. Tony frowned again looking up in the dark before the lights switched back on.

"What the hell, FRIDAY?" He waited for a response but there was none. "Sweetie? You there?" Fear started pooling in his stomach. He turned to the glass door as if expecting something to come at him but all he could see was his own reflection. Tired and afraid. That's when he noticed it, his hair was standing up. He slapped his hand on the back of his neck to feel the same there. He jumped away from where he stood staring at the gaping hole that was slowly growing in thin air. The portal crackled with something electric and he had the urge to throw in the nearest data logger. Logic took over however and he pulled himself up stepping backwards to reach for the latest version of the suit, nanobots. It wasn't complete yet but he was getting there. A human figure stepped out of the portal and Tony stepped back further. It was some alien lifeform, humanoid looks but eyes crackling with unsaid power.

"Anthony, son of Howard," it said, in greeting. The part where it's hair started and it's forehead ended was undefined so it's pale skin just ended in tendrils of pale hair. It's long eyelashes blinking slowly as it stepped forward. Tony was on gaurd as he stepped further back.

"Hate to break it to ya, but I've got no idea who you are." He side-eyed the tables looking for a weapon, anything. "Love the whole knowing me thing though." The creature seemed to smile as if amused. He needed a suit, anything but all he could reasonably grab was a wrench and he knew that he'd have crap luck with all the super soldiers and alien gods walking around.

"I'm here to give you what you need most."

"And hmm, what would that be?" Tony was trying to stall, trying to take control of the situation but he felt anything but control. "You're going to leave?"

"A second chance." Tony tensed taking another small step back. The wrench was now out of reach and the nanosuit was just behind him.

"At what, Celebi?" The creature raised its hand and Tony knew that was when shit usually went down with these dramatic types. He turned and grabbed the suit grinning as he slammed it on his chest.

"Everything? Maybe nothing?" He turned around then as the nanoparticles rushed to create the suit. "You'll figure it out." And then there was a rush of air as something very solid hit him before the nanobots spread to cover all of him. He struggled to stand, to breath as he fell to his knees, the nanobots still scrambling across his legs.

"Tell me Anthony, son of Howard, do you know what you could've been?"

The world faded to black.

* * *

 "Colonel Rhodes!" Rhodey looked up at the roof frowning. FRIDAY was freaking out. He pulled himself up knowing that he'd have to hurry.

"Is Tony okay?" Vision phased into the lounge at the same time as Steve walked in.

"I don't know, I can't reach the lab! The fire alarm just set off!" Rhodey took no time in standing up and running towards the elevator.

"It isn't a power outage, something worse is at play." Steve and Rhodey turned to the android. "I can feel an odd energy coursing the through the building, originating from the lab."

Fucking Tony, what did he do this time? He was there a few hours ago Rhodey swallowed his worry as he looked at Steve. The man was dressed in his uniform with a fierce expression, he just got back from his mission. Tony had been avoiding the shit out of him after they all came back from wherever they had been after Siberia. The Winter Soilder wasn't around and wasn't that a blessing. The elevator took forever to reach the lab and Rhodey stared at the man deciding that now wasn't the time to argue. Rhodey and Steve charged down the stairs as soon as the elevator stopped. The bullet proof glass door has exploded and smoke was filtering out but there was no fire, just smoke rising from the back wall. They rushed over and then stood around the Iron Man suit that lay still on the floor.

"Tony?" He lay there silent and unmoving. Rhodey stepped closer his composure cracking as he stared at the unresponsive suit. Not again, never again. "Tony!" The suit twitched as a soft robotic groan came from the head.

"Captain America? You look gorgeous." Steve would've blushed if he wasn't so surprised by what he heard, the man sounded odd. "Am I in heaven? And Rhodey-bear? You look... old." Rhodey huffed quickly settling into a crouch to pull Tony closer to him. He disabled the suit remembering the safety protocol he had installed after Siberia. Then he was silent.

"Tony?" The face that wearily looked up at him was still his Tony. It wasn't the 40 year old man he had talked to that morning but the 19 year old boy who used to call him daily when he was deployed. His features were more youthful and he didn't have as much muscle. His hair was an odd shade of grey which Rhodey didn't remember and as Rhodey pulled him close still confused, Tony curled up around him tears streaming down his face. They stared at eachother shocked as the boy continued to cry.

"He's covered in this energy," said Vision. "I can't say much else for sure. We should contact Dr. Strange. He would certainly know more than me."

"Jarvis?" Tony sounded broken as he tried to shift away from Rhodey. Vision seemed to tense before relaxing. He pulled his arms close taking up the role required of him.

"Yes."

"Is Father home?" Rhodey looked up at Vision who looked shaken and confused. He shook his head and turned back to the boy.

"No." Tony visibly relaxed before passing out completely.

"What the fuck," said Rhodey as he pulled Tony even closer. "Vis, contact him right now." He pushed in the next protocol watching as the suit fell apart around him. Then they were silent as the change became more apparent. He was shorter and skinnier with a lean stature instead of the muscles he maintained. His under suit wasn't well fitted anymore as he lay there. Rhodey lifted the boy up wincing when it was easy, too easy. Everything around them looked like a mess. Tony didn't belong in this mess. He stepped into the elevator alone. Steve had chosen to look through the broken equipment. He let his fierce expression fall, he ached for this boy, so scared of his father that he couldn't even pass out when he thought the man was around.

"I've started scans on Boss," said FRIDAY. "He seems... I shouldn't say fine but all vital signs are normal. His heartbeat is stabilizing. I can't say about his mental state." Rhodey nodded, that was good. He'll figure this out. For now the boy needed rest and he needed time to think back. To figure out what the boy knew, to keep him safe this time around. All his mistakes had been erased, he had a new chance with Tony and he wouldn't settle for less then perfection from himself. The elevator opened and Pepper stood there all teary eyed still wearing one of Tony's jerseys. She took one look at Tony and let out a choked sob. She didn't know this Tony.

"Let me figure this out, Pep," he said. "I don't know what happened or what he remembers but this is my Tony. I've got him." He walked away before she had a chance to respond. The bedroom door opened without him saying anything and he walked in putting the boy on the bed and sinking into the mattress next to him. He'll figure this out. Right? He had to. He pulled off the form fitting suit and stared at the lack of scars on the boy. He pushed the limp body into something comfortable before sitting so that he could watch the whole room while being close to Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment :)


	2. The Alley of Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Science bros don't leave science bros behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that this story is mostly from Rhodey's point of view.

When Tony didn't wake up for over 8 hours he thanked whatever deities he could think of. The boy looked at peace. Rhodey smiled at him running fingers through the hair that fell on his forehead. His Tony didn't have scars now, neither physical nor mental. Afghanistan was gone, Siberia was gone, New York was gone. He tucked his hair behind his ears before getting up. The boy would wake up and he would hold his hand and never let go. He would fix every mistake he made. He would shield him from everything. He would not be too late ever again.    
  
When Steve walked in he scowled, he had left the door open but that wasn't an invitation. He pushed the man out knowing that the other wasn't actually affected by his shoving by he still obliged.    
  
"What do you want Rogers?" Steve frowned before looking over his shoulder.    
  
"I didn't find much in the lab just a lot of technical equipment," he said, eyes trained on the sleeping figure.    
  
"Not like you could tell the difference," Rhodey muttered. "He's fine. You don't need to fake emotions for him, you don't have much to spare after Barnes." Steve seemed uncomfortable and annoyed.    
  
"He is my friend," he said. "I'll be leaving again. Not sure for how long."    
  
"Make sure you don't get seen." He started at his uniform from which Steve had ripped out the star in a fit of anger when he realised that he was being treated as a criminal by the public at large. The man looked away from him as if thinking and then he just walked off. As if he deemed the conversation unworthy of more words.

* * *

When Tony was asleep for more than 40 hours he called Bruce reluctantly. He wanted to heal the boy on his own but that wasn't just possible. The man was quick to come by. It had been two days since the incident and no one but Pepper, Vis and Steve had come by. The doctor took one look at Tony before he stepped out as loud beeping filled the air. He knew he had to wait for the other man to calm down. He returned a little worn out with some equipment and he quickly set it up.    
  
"I would've come sooner, I heard from Vis," he said. "I just didn't want to introduce him to the other guy instead. Why is it always him who gets shit?" Rhodey remained silent. He didn't have a response to that. He watched as the man checked a mental list. His hands briefly paused at the boy's chest where it had looked like a sun made of scars. Now it was just skin. When the other man started fidgeting with the boy's hair they both stayed silent.    
  
"Will he be okay? Will he remember?" He shrugged.   
  
"He is comatose due to extreme stress on his body from de-aging. His hair turned grey due to the same stress. It'll grow out black hopefully. I'll start him on some electrolytes and some painkillers. Just let him rest for now. They say talking helps, maybe give it a go?"    
  
"Talking sounds stupid," he muttered. They both watched the soft rise and fall of his chest.    
  
"I can't say if he'll remember as that depends entirely on whether his brain is set back on all the progress it made or it just made new connections. We'll know when he wakes up."    
  
"He will wake up for sure though, right?" He stayed silent. They watched the rise and fall before Bruce walked out.

* * *

  
FRIDAY would tell Tony the time and date every day. Then she'd recall some of his latest projects that weren't classified. The AI was willing to talk to her boss, her tone soft as she talked about the weather conditions. Rhodey would always avoid the times when she talked until the AI stopped talking when he was around. She recognised his reluctance but let him have his time.    
  
Pepper slept in Tony's bed every now and then. The two seemed about the same weight so she curled up around him when she missed him most. He was just waiting for the boy to wake up but it seemed less and less likely with every passing day.   
  
The next time anyone heard from Bruce was two weeks later when the man was found curled asleep outside Tony's door. He pulled up the ruffled man and put his arm around him as he shuddered. They were both grieving but Rhodey wouldn't lose hope, not yet. He couldn't give up. That's when he started talking to him. It wasn't something he was fond of or wanted to do after his father's death but he would do anything for Tony.   
  
"Hey Tones," he said out loud feeling stupid. "It's been a long month, Bruce has you on a bunch of stuff that should help." Then he was silent. What else should he say to the boy? If he could hear him wouldn't it confuse him more? He stopped himself and just sat silently. It was a few more days before he could think of something to talk about.    
  
"I miss you." He sat there in silence. "And I'm sorry." He held Tony's hand as a heavy feeling sunk into his chest. Eventually he got FRIDAY to play his favourite music hoping that would do something for the boy. Eventually he brought out a book just to sit by him and do something other than staring. He read a passage that amused him and started reading it out loud. Which is why he nearly had a heart attack when he heard a snort. He jumped up and looked at Tony to see him hazy eyed and grinning. The music stopped abruptly as he started giggling.    
  
"Sir, I've called Dr. Banner, he'll be arriving shortly." He nodded in shock as he grabbed Tony's wrist and checked for pulse. When it thrummed strongly against his fingers he started grinning too.    
  
"Rhodey," he whispered, before falling quiet. His eyes fluttered towards the machine on his right and curiosity lingered in his eyes. Bruce ran in with more equipment and just gapped at the boy before starting his mental checklist. Pepper came by soon after her eyes red rimmed when she pushed up her glasses. She leaned against the door leaving space for Bruce to work in. Vis stood behind her in his human form trying not to startle him. Tony eyed everything as if confused.    
  
"What's your name?" He stared at him patiently waiting for a response but there was none. Tony stared right back at him, his eyes half-lidded, defeated. "Do you not know your name?" He didn't say anything to this either as he looked away his eyes becoming unfocused. Bruce sat there looking right at him. Pepper shuffled out with Vis both looking rather distraught. Rhodey, however, was confused. Hadn't the boy just said his name. He stood while the doctor held Tony's hand. Eventually he slept again and Rhodey chose to leave him alone with the man who sat in silence still staring at the boy.    
  
He came back early next morning to see that Bruce had shifted to the floor, his head leaning against the bed. He had dark circles under his eyes and a laptop set up next to him where some sort of document was open. He looked away from the roof when Rhodey walked in.    
  
"Hey," he said watching as the man looked at the laptop before letting it be. It seemed to be running a neurological simulation. "Were you here all night?" He didn't say anything at first as he fiddled with his glasses, he chanced a glance towards the boy who was sleeping soundly.    
  
"I was trying to figure out... A way, anything." Rhodey looked at the boy his shirt had slipped lower letting his unblemished chest be seen.    
  
"I could help?" Bruce looked at him for a minute. "Tones here isn't the only MIT graduate." He blinked before nodding. They both went through the simulation and the coding that he spent time modifying. They took FRIDAY's input as well as they reconfigured the interface trying to accurately map a change in neurological connections from hypothetical de-aging. They were very engrossed in the screen watching as the nerves lit up in their simulation before the program fell apart. Rhodey started on debugging as Bruce pulled up the other laptop to get further data. His programming wasn't that good, just barely good enough so he let the other man do it.    
  
"You've got the 306th line wrong. The class identified seems to be glitching." They both jumped up clutching their chests in shock as Tony looked at the program they were working on. He shifted forward to sit between them, fixing his shirt as his fingers reached for the laptop. He began fixing the code brushing up on other code that he deemed useless. They just watched shocked as he narrowed his eyes while typing without even looking at the keyboard. He stopped after a while and got up as quickly as he had shuffled in between them. He gave one look to Rhodey before rushing to the bathroom.

Rhodey gave him a ten minute head start before knocking on the door. He could hear the shower running but he knew times when the billionaire left it running to build up steam. He twisted the door knob hoping the boy was fine. When tendrils of steam slipped out the door frame, he smiled a little. It was a very Tony thing to do. He walked in watching the shower glass fogged up and he couldn't see the other.

“Tones?”

“Yeah, honey-bear?” A beat of silence. “I'm decent.” The voice sounded drained and tired but he was trying to force some of his regular cheekiness. He smiled softly at that moving towards the shower, the sliding door revealed the boy sitting under the shower still dressed. His vacant eyes stayed at the floor as his skin turned a shade of pink. His best friend sat on the counter next to the shower because crouching and getting back up wasn't something he wanted to try. He didn't stop the water or pull him out. He knew the other needed this.

Rhodey smiled to himself knowing that the other did remember him and himself. That was more then he had been expecting. They didn't say anything as the steam piled up. In the silence they were home. The tight coil Tony held himself in started to loosen and he leaned against the wall looking up at Rhodey curiously. His eyes traced the salt and pepper hair, the braced that he had crafted himself, the loose shirts and trousers he had taken a liking too once he realised it was harder to change with nerve damage in his back. The boy tilted his head staring at more than skin deep things and Rhodey closed his eyes because he couldn't bare to look him in the eye.

Rhodey felt himself nodding off and he leaned back resting his head on cool tile. He woke up soon after to a knocking on the door. The clock installed in the bathroom grounded him. It was close to 8 pm now. He looked over at Tony to see that FRIDAY had shut off the shower letting the boy rest in warm water. The steam had cleared out a while ago, they had been in here for hours. His stomach growled with hunger as he opened the door to see Bruce. He looked over his shoulder at the boy before walking up to gently pull him out. He helped him change and Rhodey removed himself as the boy sleepily grumbled about food. He looked through the dishes in the fridge, all pre-made courtesy of Pepper Potts. He warmed up pasta over the stove top adding some more ingredients that he knew the boy wouldn't mind. Vis phased in as he tried to multitask and he quietly grabbed utensils and a tray making his way to Tony's room. 

The four began to eat in silence. The plate was nearly licked clean as the kid blushed in embarrassment. Rhodey just snorted as Bruce put more in his plate and he wolfed it down equally fast. Vis smiled too, he refused to say anything in the boy's presence scared to trigger something. 

“So much, so fast isn't good for your health,” said Bruce. Tony then looked at them, he hadn't said a word to anyone but Rhodey. He buried himself in multiple blankets as sleep pulled him away. The men picked up the dishes and their lingering tendency and walked to the kitchen. Vis however choose to stay.

“I think he's processing,” he told Bruce. “I think he remembers more than his age and he can't come to terms with it yet.”

“I'll let him be.” He thought about how the boy would take hot baths whenever he was in mental turmoil. It calmed him down and Rhodey thought that was good enough for now. He'd help him untangle his mind and free his soul. He'd let Tony Stark become whatever he could've been without the name and the world hammering him down. He'd let the boy grow wings to fly without his armour. He'd kiss his forehead and let him conquer and prosper however he wanted to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment :) 
> 
> Also I don't have a set schedule as I'm balancing an internship and university studies. I'll try to get them out as soon as possible.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you liked this. :)


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